IN ONE of my classes on storytelling I invited my screenwriting students to come up with three loglines, before choosing the best amongst them.
Some were more enticing than others: Fresher concepts, new angles on old ones, dangling questions that demanded answers.
Others, not so much.
When the dust had settled and the best loglines stood shoulder to shoulder one thing seemed obvious. They all featured concrete, outer journey elements while simultaneously revealing some essential aspect of the protagonist’s inner problem.
Being loglines, they did not require too much fleshing out. The writers provided just enough information to intrigue the reader.
Loglines and high concept have this in common: They allow the reader, in the words of Steven Spielberg, to hold the story in the palm of her hand, to glimpse what the story is about—although high concept focuses on elements of uniqueness and originality far more than any ordinary logline.
So it is with any commercially viable tale. Without a concrete, palpable story in which the hero has to struggle against a powerful villain or dangerous circumstance to achieve the goal, there is no story to tell.
Apollo 13’s logline is crisp and cuts to the chase: NASA races to come up with a plan to return Apollo 13 to Earth safely after the spacecraft suffers serious damage which puts the lives of its three astronauts in danger.
“Loglines provide snapshots of stories.”
The point is important. If the reader can not sense the physical arc of the story in a logline she will probably not be interested in reading the rest of the tale in order to get to its themes and concepts.
This is not to say that the inner conflict of the character(s) is not of vital importance. Many of the greatest stories ever written had powerful inner journeys – Lord of the Rings, The Spire. But it is to say that the protagonist’s inner conflict has to be reflected in the story’s outer conflict.
The logline, “The Land Below is a post-apocalyptic story concerning a young orphan boy who embodies the themes of survival versus freedom,” is not as good as:
“The Land Below is the story of a lowly orphan boy who secretly plots to escape his suffocating, post-apocalyptic existence in a converted goldmine, knowing that if betrayed, he will be executed for fermenting inserection against the social order.”
In the second logline the themes of survival and freedom are still present, but they emerge through the visceral and emotive use of concrete, palpable words such as “plots”, “suffocating”, “goldmine”, “betrayed,” “executed,” and “resurrection”. The logline allows us to hold the story in the palm of our hand.
Summary
Loglines should use concrete, visceral language to creates snapshots of the hero’s story.
Catch my latest youtube video here!
Great Post . So true , a high concept makes for an interesting log lone. Let’s face it – screen writing is a medium reserved to the small minority who have the means to produce and distribute. Perhaps the most liberating and economic medium of storytelling is in the form of novels. This is testified to the legacy to Hans Christian Anderson, The brother Grimm and J.K Rowling.
A orphaned boy discovers that his parents were wizards and embarks on a journey to learn the disciplines of magic.
In a world where sea creatures are forbidden to make contact with people above the waves , a mermaid princess falls in love with a human prince. ( Best fairy tale ever !) ( classic Shakespeare love story with a physical obstacle – she’s a mermaid , he’s a human)
These log lines sell themselves.
In short : If the premise prints books , it will print money in any medium.
Very true, Gerhard.
Dear Stavros,
I came across your article via one of the LinkedIn group posting. Any pointer/ opinion on this logline for my short film (https://vimeo.com/143267832)? Appreciate your time.
Logline:
How much is a promise worth these days? An aspiring fashion designer finds out when she has to choose between fulfilling her promise and realizing her dream.
The logline is not bad, Michael. However, a more concrete hint as to what is driving that choice wouldn’t go amiss.
Thank you Stavros. How would you apply these fundamentals to a logline for a single camera comedy series?
In the same way you would apply it to a single film, Rob. Only here you would hint at the entire character and plot line. For example: A lowly paid high school chemistry teacher who has just been diagnosed with cancer decides to change his fortunes by cooking meth – just enough to get himself and his family out of financial trouble. But as problems and successes mount he becomes trapped as much by his own ambition as by his need to stay ahead of the law and the drug cartels. (Breaking Bad)
Thank you Stavros. Is there a difference re a comedy series, where the arc may be much less than a drama?
Or is there more emphasis on an arc in comedy these days?
Thanks,
Rob
Rob, I think the emphasis is not impacted by the comedy/drama divide.
Thanks!
Very helpful, thank you Stavros.
You’re welcome, Stephen.